In Which Sam Evans and Kurt Hummel Meet on Omegle
by blahstupidblahugh
Summary: Also known as "Your OMG BBYS turn me on." Sam/Kurt. Pure Crack.


**TITLE: In Which Sam Evans and Kurt Hummel Find Each Other on Omegle **

**Otherwise know as _Your OMG BBYS Turn Me On_**

**Rating: M for language, sexual themes, and use of various Tumblr sayings.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Narnia, or Avatar. I am but a weird girl on Omegle. **

**Author's Note: It all happened when I went on Omegle saying "Kurt Hummel? Is that you?" and, what do you know, on my first try I got a Gleek _and_ a Kum shipper. It was destiny. **

**So. **

**Yes.**

**This isn't a proper piece of literature—that is true. But it is a beautiful and most glorious masterpiece that I hope you enjoy, because I was weeping tears.**

**(But, seriously, this stuff is messed up, but y'all asked for it so I am humbly obliging to share this with you.)**

**~o~**

**You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!**

**Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.**

**You:** Kurt Hummel? Is that you?

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** EVANS

**Stranger:** IS THAT YOU?

**Stranger:** OMG BBY

**You:** YES

**Stranger:** IT'S KURT.

**You:** OH MY GOD

**You:** IT'S SAM

**You:** SAM I AM

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** AND YOU

**Stranger:** DON'T LIKE

**Stranger:** GREEN EGGS AND HAM

**You:** I KNOW

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I KNOW YOU'RE ON

**Stranger:** TEAM GAY.

**You:** OH.

**You:** OKAY.

**Stranger:** COME TO ME~

**You:** WAIT.

**You:** I LIKE YOUR ASS.

**Stranger:** OMGOMG

**You:** IN WHITE PANTS.

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** TIGHT WHITE PANTS.

**Stranger:** I LIKE YOUR ASS

**Stranger:** IN TIGHT GOLD SHORTS

**You:** OH BB YES.

**Stranger:** SHORT SHORTS

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** SHOWIN' OFF SOME NUTTAGE.

**Stranger:** DUMP QUINN

**Stranger:** NOW

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** I WILL DUMP THAT BITCH.

**Stranger:** MR. SHUE

**Stranger:** HAD TO

**Stranger:** CHANGE

**You:** AND COME TO YOU.

**Stranger:** YOUR COSTUME

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY! 333

**You:** MR. SCHUE IS A CREEP.

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** SRSLY

**Stranger:** PEDOWILL

**Stranger:** HE'S ALL LIKE

**You:** AJSDFJASLFHASLHFAS

**Stranger:** "SAM, YOUR BODY IS FINE."

**You:** "FIIIIINE"

**Stranger:** AND I'M LIKE

**Stranger:** NUH UH

**Stranger:** HE DID NOT

**Stranger:** JUST SAY THAT

**Stranger:** ABOUT MY MAN

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** YOUR MAN

**You:** HOW ADORBS

**You:** AND SHIT

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** YOU'RE MINE~

**You:** GOOD

**You:** CUZ QUINN'S TITS FREAK ME OUT

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** QUINNS TITS

**Stranger:** FREAK EVERYONE

**Stranger:** OUT

**You:** ...but i'm in narnia :(

**Stranger:** AWWW BBY

**Stranger:** COME OUT

**Stranger:** I'LL BRING YOU OUT

**You:** DOES THIS INCLUDE

**You:** A BJ?

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** ALL TYPES

**Stranger:** OF SECKS

**You:** OH YES

**You:** I'LL COME OUT THEN

**Stranger:** YOU

**You:** FOR THE SECKS

**Stranger:** COME OUT

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** COME

**Stranger:** FOR THE SECKS

**Stranger:** NO ONE

**Stranger:** GIVES

**Stranger:** SECKS

**Stranger:** LIKE

**Stranger:** KURT HUMMEL

**You:** FUCK.,

**You:** YOU.

**You:** ;)

**You:** IN A GOOD WAY.

**Stranger:** OMG BBY~

**You:** ON THE FLOOR.

**You:** ON THE FRIGE.

**Stranger:** I'M SO EXCITED

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** ON THE COACH.

**You:** SUE.

**Stranger:** COACH

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HOT

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** ON BLAINE TOO.

**Stranger:** OH FUCK

**Stranger:** BLAINE

**Stranger:** THAT

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** THREESOME.

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** AND BLAINE

**Stranger:** ONG

**You:** HEY

**Stranger:** *OMG

**Stranger:** BUT YOU

**Stranger:** MORE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YOU MORE

**You:** YOU CAN ONLY LOVE ONE

**You:** GOOD

**You:** AS YOU SHOULD.

**You:** I HAVE ABS.

**Stranger:** OKAY

**Stranger:** I ONLY LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YOU'RE NOT FAT

**Stranger:** THOSE

**Stranger:** COOL RANCH

**Stranger:** DORITOS

**Stranger:** DID NOT

**Stranger:** DO ANYTHING

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** YOU SAY OMG BBY SO FUCKING MUCH IT TURNS ME ON

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** AND I AM FAT

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** YOU'RE A GOD

**Stranger:** ABTASTIC

**You:** YOUR A PEACH TREE

**Stranger:** GOD

**Stranger:** OMG BBY 333

**You:** YOU'RE FUCKING NA'VI

**Stranger:** OMGOMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I LOVE

**Stranger:** WHEN YOU

**Stranger:** TALK

**Stranger:** NA'VI

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** A NAKED ONE

**Stranger:** 3333

**You:** LOR MENARI

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** ILOVEYOU

**You:** I YAWNE YOU

**Stranger:** WE NEED SECKS

**Stranger:** NOW

**You:** IN ARTIE'S WHEEL CHAIR

**You:** YOU CAN RIDE ME

**Stranger:** OMG YESS

**You:** ALL NIGHT LONG

**You:** LIKE A SOUL TRAIN

**Stranger:** ALL NIGHT

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** YOU'RE MINE

**Stranger:** WE CAN GO

**Stranger:** TO PROM! 3333

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY YAYAYAYAY

**You:** WE CAN

**You:** AND BE MOTHERFUCKING PROM QUEENS

**You:** I MEAN KINGS

**Stranger:** OMG YESS

**Stranger:** TOP

**Stranger:** BITCHES

**Stranger:** AT MCKINLEY

**You:** AND THEN GUESS WHAT, BB...

**Stranger:** WHATWHATOMG

**Stranger:** WHY, BBY? 33

**You:** WE'LL BE CANON.

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** LOLJK I'M RYAN MURPHY AND SAM'S STRAIGHT

**Stranger:** THAT MADE MY DAY

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** IS

**Stranger:** TOTES

**Stranger:** TEAM GAY

**Stranger:** THE FANS

**Stranger:** DEMAND IT

**You:** I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU BB COME HERE AND GIMME A BJ

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** Y U SCARIN ME

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** MY CREYS

**You:** BECAUSE YOU'RE CUTE WHEN U R SCARED

**You:** AND NAKED

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** HOW'D YOU KNOW

**Stranger:** I WAS NAKED THO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAMMY

**Stranger:** U SPYIN?

**You:** BECAUSE YOU'RE A HO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY!

**You:** AND I'M IN YOUR HOUSE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** MAH DAD THO

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** SLEEPING IN YOUR DADDY'S BED

**Stranger:** HE'S

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HE'S DOWNSTAIRS!

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YOU FOX

**You:** I AM WIGGLING MY EYEBROWS NOW

**You:** SEXY LIKe

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** MAKE SECKS TO ME

**You:** I HAVE...

**You:** A LARGER DICK

**You:** THEN FINN

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** FINN THO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HIS

**Stranger:** WAS

**Stranger:** HUGH

**You:** AND EVERY WHALE IN THE WOrLD

**Stranger:** *HUGE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YOU BEAST

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** WE'RE LIKE

**Stranger:** BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

**Stranger:** EXCEPT

**You:** EXCEPT

**Stranger:** YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL

**Stranger:** BEAST

**You:** YOU'RE NOT BEAUTIFUL

**You:** ..wait

**Stranger:** OMGOMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** MY CREYS

**You:** YOU'RE SO SEXY

**You:** AND HOT

**You:** AND HANDSOME

**Stranger:** AWWW OMGOMG

**Stranger:** BBY 3333

**Stranger:** YOU ARE

**Stranger:** MORE

**You:** YOU LOOK LIKE A 12-year-old SWEDISH MILKMAID

**You:** HUGE TURN ON

**Stranger:** OMG.

**Stranger:** OMG.

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I'M

**Stranger:** SO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** 33333333333

**Stranger:** YOU GET ME

**You:** I DO GET YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** GET

**Stranger:** IN

**Stranger:** MY

**Stranger:** BED

**Stranger:** SAMMY

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** I AM IN YOUR BED

**Stranger:** GET IN HERE

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** I'M NAKED

**Stranger:** YOU FOX

**Stranger:** I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** NINJA

**You:** YOU LITTLE DEVIOUS SLUT

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAMMY

**You:** KURTSIE

**Stranger:** I 3 WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY 333

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** 3333

**You:** HOBO MJEI DASJD WEHKDFW JDAKSJDK

**You:** THAT'S NA'VI

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** TEACH ME NA'VI 333

**You:** FOR "I WANT YOUR BOOTY CONNECTED TO MY TREE OF SPIRITS"

**Stranger:** OMG BBY333

**Stranger:** WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKABLE

**You:** I WAS BORN THAT WAY

**You:** GOD MADE ME THAT WAY

**Stranger:** OMG.

**You:** BUT YOU DON'T BELIEVE HIM THAT DUDE

**Stranger:** SAM.

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YOU KNOW ME333

**You:** I DO 3 3

**Stranger:** WE NEED

**Stranger:** TO SING

**Stranger:** TOGETHER

**Stranger:** EVERYDAY

**Stranger:** AT GLEE 333

**You:** DUET DUET DUET

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YESS

**You:** WE DO

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YES

**You:** I WANT TO SING "PROMISCUOUS GIRL/BOY" WITH YOU

**Stranger:** OMGOMG

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** ALL THE DAYS

**Stranger:** AND ALL THE NIGHTS

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY I LOVE YOU

**You:** SO I CAN SING ABOUT WANTING TO FEEL YOUR NAKED BODY

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** JUST DO IT

**You:** I AM

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** CAN YOU FEEL IT?

**Stranger:** YOURE SO

**Stranger:** GOOD

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T

**Stranger:** UNFFF

**Stranger:** OMF

**Stranger:** ODSFMADS

**Stranger:** I CAN'T

**Stranger:** OMGOMG

**Stranger:** UNFFFF

**You:** ORGASM

**You:** FOR

**You:** ME

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** AND

**You:** FOR

**Stranger:** IDSAAJSDNLK

**You:** NARNIA

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** BBYYY

**Stranger:** BBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYY

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAMM

**You:** OH YES

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** SAM

**You:** KURT

**You:** KURT

**You:** KURT

**You:** QUINN

**You:** KURT

**You:** KURTR'

**You:** ;andaskdfhshdfa;s

**Stranger:** I CAN'T

**Stranger:** OMDF

**Stranger:** OADSNLSIFGJNDKM

**Stranger:** SAMM

**Stranger:** BBYYYYY

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** MORE

**Stranger:** MORE

**Stranger:** MORE

**Stranger:** BBY MORE

**Stranger:** aosidhjoashdjnkasldijknasda

**Stranger:** THE FUCK

**Stranger:** YOU

**Stranger:** SAID

**Stranger:** QUINN

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** WHAT

**Stranger:** THE

**Stranger:** FUCK

**Stranger:** SAM

**You:** ASJDHJASFHSDHF

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** SAM

**You:** BB PLEASE

**Stranger:** YOU DID

**Stranger:** YOU SAID QUINN

**Stranger:** OM

**Stranger:** *OMG

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** YOU'RE MINE

**You:** FORGIVE ME

**Stranger:** NOT QUINN'S

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** AND YOU'RE MINe

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** QUINN IS DEAD

**You:** I KILLED HER

**Stranger:** BITCH DESERVED TO DIE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** AND THEN HAVE HER TO PUCK

**Stranger:** NOW YOU

**Stranger:** HAVE

**You:** WHO RAPED HER

**Stranger:** TO

**Stranger:** GIVE

**Stranger:** ME

**Stranger:** A

**Stranger:** BJ

**Stranger:** NOW

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** MY CREYS

**You:** NO YOU'RE THE WOMAN

**Stranger:** YOU MADE ME CREY

**You:** SO

**Stranger:** I'M CREYING

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** YOU MADE ME A SANDWICH

**Stranger:** YOU OWE ME

**Stranger:** BITCH PLEASE

**You:** OKAY FINE FINE FINE FINE YOU HOT STUFF SHIT

**Stranger:** I'M NOT

**Stranger:** FUCKING

**Stranger:** CINDERELLA

**You:** I'M GIVING IT TO YOU

**Stranger:** I'M KURT

**Stranger:** FUCKING

**Stranger:** HUMMEL

**You:** KURT HUMMEL

**You:** FUCK

**Stranger:** HOLY

**Stranger:** OMSFDADF

**You:** I'M GIVING YOU THE BJ KURT HUMMEL

**Stranger:** ASADFJNK

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** ASDJKN

**Stranger:** SAMM

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** AODMAD

**Stranger:** SADANJSDKASDINJKSAD

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** MORE

**Stranger:** ADNJSLKSADLJNKSAM

**You:** YOU

**You:** TASTE

**You:** LIKE

**You:** WATERMELON

**You:** AND PEE

**Stranger:** LOLZ.

**Stranger:** YOU MADE ME JIZZ.

**You:** IN MY FACE

**Stranger:** EAT IT

**Stranger:** EAT IT SAM

**You:** MY BEAUTIFUL ARYAN FACE

**You:** I DID

**Stranger:** ALL OF IT

**You:** I LICKED IT OFF LIKE ICECREAM

**Stranger:** NOT SOME OFIT

**Stranger:** ALL OF IT

**You:** I DID

**You:** BITCH

**You:** I'M THE MAN

**Stranger:** GOOD

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** YOU'RE

**Stranger:** THE NA'VI SLUT WHORE

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** I'M KURT FUCKING HUMMEL

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** WHO

**Stranger:** ARE

**Stranger:** YOU

**You:** THAT'S WEAR YOU'RE WRONG

**Stranger:** I'M KURT FUCKING HUMMEL

**You:** I'M FUCKING JAKE SULLY

**Stranger:** WHO THE FUCK

**Stranger:** ARE YOU

**Stranger:** JAKE SULLY

**You:** YOU'RE NEYTIRI

**Stranger:** IS A SLUT WHORE

**Stranger:** NEYTIRI

**Stranger:** IS THE

**You:** MY NA'VI SLUT

**Stranger:** HEAD

**Stranger:** BITCH

**Stranger:** IN

**Stranger:** CHARGE

**You:** AND MY WIFE

**You:** WHO MAKES ME SANDWICHES

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** WAY

**Stranger:** MAN

**Stranger:** I AIN'T NO

**Stranger:** HOUSEWIFE

**You:** YES YOU ARE

**Stranger:** NO

**You:** YOU ARE MY HOUSEWIFE

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** THAT

**Stranger:** MIGHT'VE WORKED

**Stranger:** ON QUINN

**Stranger:** BUT NOT

**Stranger:** WITH

**Stranger:** ME

**You:** THIS IS OF COURSE JUST ROLEPLAY. KINKY ROLEPLAY. WE'RE EQUALS AND I LOVE YOUR BALLS.

**Stranger:** I'M

**Stranger:** BBY OF COURSE

**Stranger:** ANGRY SECKS

**You:** YES

**You:** THE BEST KIND THERE IS'

**Stranger:** YES

**You:** BB...

**Stranger:** WHAT BBY?

**You:** You love Blaine. :(

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** SAMMY

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** BBY NO

**You:** Yes.

**You:** :(

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

**You:** JUST GO TO FUCKING DALTON WHY DONCHA

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** IT'S NOT

**Stranger:** YOU

**You:** AND HAVE ORGYS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING WARBLERS

**Stranger:** IT'S EVERYONE ELSE

**You:** HO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** Y U BEING SO MEAN

**Stranger:** IT'S NOT YOU

**You:** BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU

**You:** R BALLS

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** EVERYONE ELSE

**Stranger:** IS JUST

**Stranger:** A BITCH

**Stranger:** TO ME

**You:** KAROFSKY

**Stranger:** I CAN'T TAKE BITCHES

**You:** HIM?

**Stranger:** ESPECIALLY

**Stranger:** HIM

**Stranger:** THAT

**Stranger:** MOTHERFUCKER

**You:** I'LL KILL HIM

**Stranger:** NEEDS TO BE

**Stranger:** CAPPED

**Stranger:** SAM BBY!

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** STOP THE VIOLENCE.

**Stranger:** YOU'RE TO SEXY FOR MURDER

**You:** HE HURTS YOU THOUGH

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** JUST

**Stranger:** GO

**Stranger:** WITH

**Stranger:** ME

**Stranger:** TO DALTON

**You:** AND GIVES YOU UNBECOMING BRUISES

**You:** I CAN'T

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY WHY?

**You:** I WENT THERE ALREADY

**Stranger:** FUCK

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** YOUR HAIR

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** I CAN'T FACE BLAINE AGAIN

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** WHAT

**Stranger:** DID

**You:** MY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL

**Stranger:** THIS

**Stranger:** BLAINE

**Stranger:** DO TO YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HE LOVED

**Stranger:** YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YOU

**You:** WE WE ROOMATES IN THE SUMMAR OF 2009

**Stranger:** LOVED

**Stranger:** BLAINE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HE'S

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** i MEAN NoT THE SUMMER

**Stranger:** HE'S YOUR EX

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** THE SCHOOL YEAR

**Stranger:** SAM

**You:** YES

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** OMFG

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I DIDN'T KNOW

**Stranger:** HE CAME ON TO ME

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** THAT

**You:** IT HURTS OKAY

**Stranger:** SLUT

**You:** WHAT

**You:** THE

**You:** FUCK

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I REFUSED

**You:** DID HE TRY TO RIP YOUR JACKET OFF?

**Stranger:** I WANTED YOU AND YOU ALONE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** HE DID

**You:** ME TOO

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** HE ALWAYS DOES THAT

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** TO HIS PRAY

**Stranger:** I'M SCARED

**You:** PREY I MEAN

**You:** I'LL HOLD YOU

**You:** I'M RIGHT HERE

**Stranger:** BBY

**You:** I'M HOLD YOUR HAAAAANNDDD~

**Stranger:** I DON'T WANT TO BE

**Stranger:** RAPED

**Stranger:** BY BLAINE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** MY CREYS

**Stranger:** HOLD MY HAND

**Stranger:** 333

**You:** I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE THAT RIGHT

**Stranger:** BBY I LOVE YOU

**You:** HOLD MY PENIS WITH YOUR HAND I MEAN

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I AM

**Stranger:** NOT

**Stranger:** THE WIFE

**You:** THAT

**You:** DOESN'T MEAN

**You:** YOU'RE

**You:** THE WIFE

**Stranger:** WE NEED

**You:** IT JUST MEANS YOU WANT TO GIVE ME PLEASURE

**Stranger:** TO HOLD

**Stranger:** EACH

**Stranger:** OTHERS

**You:** PENISES

**Stranger:** YES

**You:** or hands :)

**Stranger:** OMG BBY

**Stranger:** IDON'TCARE

**You:** BOTH

**You:** BOTH I SAY

**Stranger:** I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD ME

**Stranger:** BOTH

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** I AM

**Stranger:** YESS

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** YES

**You:** I LOVE YOU

**You:** SO MUCH

**You:** KURT

**You:** FABRAY

**You:** I MEAN

**Stranger:** FUCK

**You:** SHIT

**Stranger:** YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** EVANS

**Stranger:** WHATTHEACTUALFUCK

**You:** I DIDN'T MEAN TO

**Stranger:** I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

**You:** IDO

**You:** I DO BB

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** YOU DON'T OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YOU KNOW WHAT

**Stranger:** YOU KNOW WHAT

**You:** KURT, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

**Stranger:** SAM

**You:** NO

**You:** PLEASE

**You:** OH MY GOD

**You:** PLEASE

**Stranger:** EVANS

**Stranger:** I'M JUST

**Stranger:** GOING TO GO

**Stranger:** TO DALTON

**Stranger:** AND ROOM WITH

**Stranger:** BLAINE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HOW ABOUT THAT

**Stranger:** HOW ABOUT THAT

**Stranger:** HUH SAME

**Stranger:** *SAM

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** SINCE

**You:** PLEASE

**Stranger:** YOU OBVIOUSLY

**Stranger:** LOVE

**You:** OH GOD

**You:** FUCK

**Stranger:** QUINN

**You:** YOU

**You:** NO

**You:** I LOVE YOU

**You:** QUINN HAS HERPES

**Stranger:** I love you, too.

**You:** . . . :)

**Stranger:** I'm sorry bby

**Stranger:** I overreacted.

**You:** I'm sorry too.

**You:** Yes, you did.

**Stranger:** You're obviously still traumatized

**You:** I am.

**You:** She scarred me for life.

**Stranger:** by Quinn's nasty ass.

**You:** Yes.

**Stranger:** Omg.

**You:** I love you're ass.

**Stranger:** BBY/

**You:** YOUR

**Stranger:** I'm here for you 333

**You:** fuck

**You:** okay, okay

**You:** FUCK

**You:** 3

**Stranger:** 33

**You:** Looks like little asses.

**You:** 333333

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** THEY'RE CUTE

**Stranger:** LIKE URS

**You:** Your little ass mulitplied

**You:** NO URS

**Stranger:** NO URS

**Stranger:** IS CUTER33

**You:** NO

**You:** YOU HAVE A BUBBLE BUTT 3

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** TAKE

**Stranger:** THAT

**Stranger:** BACK

**Stranger:** BITCH

**You:** ASKFLAJSFJASFLAS

**Stranger:** I DO NOT

**You:** I LIKE IT

**You:** I

**You:** LIKE

**You:** IT

**Stranger:** IT'S HIDEOUS

**Stranger:** AND YOU KNOW IT

**You:** I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BUBBLE BUTT

**Stranger:** :'{

**You:** IT'S ALL ROUND AND JUICY AND SHIT

**You:** BB NO D:

**Stranger:** SAM BBY

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YOU ACCEPT ME

**You:** I DO

**You:** WHO WOULDN'T

**Stranger:** EVERYONE ELSE

**You:** NO D:

**You:** I LOVE YOU

**You:** SO MUCH

**You:** LET'S MOVE TO CANADA

**You:** AND GET FUCKING MARRIED

**You:** IS THAT A NO?

**You:** :

**You:** :'(

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** 100

**Stranger:** TIMES

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BBY

**Stranger:** 333

**You:** CAN IT BE A NA'VI WEDDING?

**Stranger:** YESS

**Stranger:** 33

**You:** CAN I FUCK YOU UNDER THE EHWA?

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** ALL THE DAYS

**You:** THE MOTHER TREE.

**Stranger:** AND ALL THE NIGHTS

**You:** CAN WE COMBINE OUR TAIL THINGS?

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** WE'LL BE

**Stranger:** AS ONE

**Stranger:** FOREVER

**You:** 4EVER.

**You:** I LOVE YOU, WIFEY 3

**Stranger:** THE

**Stranger:** FUCK

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** WHAT

**Stranger:** DID

**Stranger:** I SAY

**You:** HUBBY

**You:** HUBBY

**You:** HUBBY

**Stranger:** 3333

**Stranger:** THAT'S BETTER

**You:** YAY :3

**Stranger:** I LOVE YOU, HUBBY 3333

**You:** ILOVEYOUTOO.

_Extras (as in when I broke down and asked who the mastermind behind Kurt was:)_

**You:** (omfg who are you on Tumblr?)

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** ILOVEYOUTOO

**Stranger:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**Stranger:** I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW

**Stranger:** DUDE

**You:** DUDE.

**Stranger:** SRS BSNS

**Stranger:** SRSLY

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** TELL ME NOW. OR I'LL FIND YOU AND RAPE YOU SO HIDE YO KURTS

**You:** HIDE YO SAMS

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** YOU FIRST MAN

**You:** YES

**You:** NO

**You:** YOU

**Stranger:** NO

**Stranger:** YOU

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** SRS BSNS

**You:** WE

**You:** PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW EACHOTHER

**You:** OR WE MIGHT

**Stranger:** PROBABLY

**You:** I'M THESOCIALLLAMA

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** HOL

**Stranger:** HOLY

**Stranger:** SHI

**Stranger:** SHIT

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** I FOLLOW YOU

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** OMFG WHO ARE YOU

**Stranger:** I'm so un koality tho

**Stranger:** octobus

**Stranger:** DUDE. HOLY SHIT THO.

**You:** I'M PRETTY SURE I FOLLOW YOU

**You:** I THINK

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** SRSLY

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I'M LIKE

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** RIGHT NOW

**You:** ME TOO

**You:** OMFG

**You:** THIS WAS NICE

**Stranger:** I KNOW

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST OMG BBY KURT I'VE EVER SEEN

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YOU'RE THE BEST

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** EVAR

**You:** NEVAR

**Stranger:** DUDE SRSLY

**Stranger:** YES

**Stranger:** BEST

**Stranger:** EVARR

**You:** NO D:

**You:** LOL

**You:** OMFG

**You:** THIS WAS SO

**You:** WHAT EVEN

**You:** WAS THIS

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T

**Stranger:** EVEN

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T

**You:** IT WAS SO SAJDLAJHDFASHFSDHFKSD

**You:** Anyway.

**Stranger:** Okay. I can breathe regularly now.

**You:** THIS WAS FUN AND NOW I'M GOING TO GO SEE IF I FOLLOW YOU OR NOT.

**You:** I can't. Lololol.

**Stranger:** LOLLOLOL

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** IT WAS ALL

**Stranger:** IN CAPS

**Stranger:** I can't

**Stranger:** omg

**Stranger:** I can't

**You:** I KNOW

**You:** IT WAS JUST

**You:** SPAZZING

**You:** AND SEXKS

**You:** I MEAN

**You:** SECKS

**Stranger:** LOL

**Stranger:** SECKS

**Stranger:** HOT SECKS

**You:** YES

**You:** WITH KINKY ROLEPLAYING

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** YOU KILLED

**Stranger:** QUINN

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** OMFG

**You:** DUDE

**You:** I DIDN'T MEAN TOO

**You:** THAT WAS ALL SAM

**Stranger:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** CRAZY

**Stranger:** PIECE

**Stranger:** OF ASS

**You:** I KNOW

**Stranger:** HOT DAYUM

**You:** UNF

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** BLAINE THO

**Stranger:** SHIT.

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** BLAINE

**You:** THE RAPIST?

**Stranger:** LOL

**Stranger:** I CAN'T EVEN

**You:** JACKET

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** THAT'S ALL

**Stranger:** I'LL THINK ABOUT

**Stranger:** BLAINE THE RAPIST

**You:** OMFG

**You:** HOW

**You:** OH GOD

**You:** ME TOO

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** TEENAGE DREAM

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** RAPIST

**Stranger:** ALERT

**You:** lsadjalshfhDHAHFIHFHSDLHBFG

**You:** I'LL BE ALL

**You:** KURT

**You:** BITCH

**You:** NO

**You:** GET AWAY

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** BETTER

**Stranger:** GO

**Stranger:** SAVE HIS MAN

**You:** DUDE

**You:** I FOUND YOU

**You:** ON TUMBLR

**Stranger:** OMG.

**You:** FUCK YES

**Stranger:** OMGOMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T EVEN

**Stranger:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**You:** ASLKDLFASHFHSDKHF

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** YOU'RE

**Stranger:** THE BEST

**Stranger:** SAM

**Stranger:** EVANS

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** EVARR

**Stranger:** LIKE

**Stranger:** SRSLY

**You:** YOU'RE THE BEST KURT HUMMEL

**You:** THE "OMG BBYS"

**You:** THEY TURN ME ON

**You:** IN AMUSEMENT

**Stranger:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** BUT

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** JASDHFASHFGDS

**Stranger:** "THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE ASSES"

**Stranger:** OM

**Stranger:** *OMG

**Stranger:** I

**You:** THAT WAS AMAZING THAT WE FOUND EACH OTHER LIKE DESTINY

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** OMG

**You:** 33333

**Stranger:** I KNOW

**Stranger:** LOLOLOL

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** STOP

**Stranger:** I CAN'T BREATHE

**You:** OH GOD

**You:** WHAT EVEN JUST HAPPENED

**You:** I WILL NEVER KNOW

**Stranger:** I DON'T EVEN KNOW

**Stranger:** I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER

**Stranger:** WHAT I WAS DOING

**Stranger:** BEFORE

**You:** OH GOD

**You:** I WON'T BE ABLE TO VIEW GLEE THE SAME WAY AGAIN

**You:** ESPECIALLY KURT

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I'LL JUST

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T EVEN

**You:** I'LL BE EXPECTING HIM TO RANDOMLY SAY "OMG BBY" ALL THE TIME

**Stranger:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** DUDE

**Stranger:** I'LL THINK

**Stranger:** THAT SAM'S

**Stranger:** ALL

**Stranger:** NINJA LIKE

**Stranger:** AND FOXY

**You:** HE REALLY IS

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** HE'S LIKE THAT LINKCOLN PARK RAPIST

**Stranger:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T FUCKING

**Stranger:** OMG

**Stranger:** I CAN'T

**You:** SDJASLDJSAJF

**You:** DUDE

**You:** OKAY LOOK

**You:** I HAVE TO GO

**You:** AND TAKE A SHOWERZ

**Stranger:** LOLOL

**Stranger:** OKAY

**You:** BUT YEAH

**Stranger:** BYE

**You:** FOLLOWIN' YOU

**Stranger:** BYE BBY

**Stranger:** OMG

**You:** BYE BB

**Stranger:** BBY 33

**You:** DUDE OMG

**You:** OKAY BYE 3

**Stranger:** KKBYE


End file.
